Culture Cabinet

Like many artists, the path of artistry for New Zealand based artist Janine hasn’t been exactly linear. But, as is often the case in art, that chaos is ultimately what’s helped shape her voice. 

“I started singing when I was really young,” she says in an interview with Culture Cabinet. “I’ve always wanted to sing even since I was a kid. And then I started doing open mic nights when I was about 14 and then I moved to the [United] States and just worked very, very hard, putting all my money into music. I was lucky enough to get a TV sync when I was independent. I had a song that ended up taking off, and then I signed a major record deal, which didn’t work out that well. And then I’ve been independent again, and things have been going very well again. For an independent artist, I’ve been quite happy with my journey.”

Her latest album, Pain and Paradise, out now, embodies the duality of her experiences. As Janine found herself on an upward (if not always straightforward) trajectory in her music career, personal tragedy struck after the sudden loss of her father. 

“The title kind of sums it up for me,” she says. “The pain and paradise, it was such a mixture of the fact that I think both always coexist. When I started writing songs that would go on to this album, my life looked very different. I still had my whole family, and the things I was writing about were more like normal themes, like self-discovery and breakups and love songs. And then I lost my dad, who was my hero in life. Life has not really been the same, and so I wanted to honor that. But at the same time, also highlight how lucky I was to have had something worth losing.”

That perspective of trying to understand a world without someone she loved so deeply reshaped not only her lyrics, but her sound. “Even at my most joyous, I feel the sadness that that person is not there. But then I can also feel so much joy for everything that I had and I have. Since then, I’ve gotten into a very beautiful, healthy relationship, and I have so many incredible people around me. I just feel so lucky. It was trying to find the balance between showing joy, showing gratitude, and allowing people to also have fun. There’s a bit of humor in there, as well as talking about grief and allowing other people the space to talk about it. It became very apparent that that’s not something people share.”

The creative process was often a tug-of-war between release and restraint, as Janine had to turn to a long catalog of songs when deciding what to put on the album. In some cases, some songs even needed amended to fit her present circumstances.

“It was actually quite challenging, because it’s quite a lot of really old songs,” Janine explains. “Some I left out. Some I questioned right up until the last minute. Even, like, in the song ‘Rock Star,’ I had to rewrite lyrics about my parents after my dad passed. It was a very strange process. At some point I just had to call it and say, ‘Right, these are the songs that feel right. These ones I’m leaving for now. These ones I’m adding.’ And then I was like, ‘You can always put out more music.’”

But of course, the album does not completely succumb merely to the pain at the detriment of the paradise. Within the heaviness, there are moments of levity. “There are some songs that are like love songs and happy songs. There’s some that are a combination, like ‘Thank You for Breaking My Heart,’ which I’d say is kind of a love song at the same time as pulling the fingers to somebody. There’s a bit of fun in those moments. I had the idea for the voice note that’s at the end of ‘Thank You for Breaking My Heart,’ and it was so silly. It was so much fun. Then there’s ‘Make You Proud,’ which took me two years to record because I couldn’t get through it. I’m about to try to do it on tour, and I’m terrified of trying to get through that song in front of people.”

Touring is where Janine’s connection with her listeners becomes undeniable, and despite some anxiety, she’s excited to be touring. “Seeing people, connecting with people in the music industry is tough, especially in the digital age. We’re so caught up with numbers. But 500 people in front of you, or 1,000 people in front of you, it changes your perception, and it makes everything real. It feels beautiful to see people’s faces and know that everything you’ve been through and written about is worth it, not just for me but for other people.”

That feeling reached its peak at a recent show Paris, where she got to see the international reach of her music. “It was my first show in a non-predominant English speaking country. It was the first time I had people that couldn’t speak English singing my lyrics with feeling, like they felt it. Every age, every race, every sexuality in this room… it was the most beautiful thing. I nearly burst into tears while I was singing, I was so moved. I genuinely feel like the luckiest person in the world when I meet my fans. The people that come together really do feel like a family. People make friends, form relationships at the shows, and it’s just a beautiful, beautiful energy.”

At its core, Pain and Paradise is a gift of connection. When asked about what she hopes listeners take away from it, Janine’s answer is simple yet moving. “I want them to really feel something. I want them to feel connected. I want them to feel seen, feel less alone. I want them to have fun. I want them to cry. This album, for me, is kind of like a bit of a pick-your-own-adventure. Go as deep as you want to go. I just want people to feel, and to feel like home with the music.”